


What Do You Mean This is Wrong?

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU where Dan and Phil have friends, Alcohol, Existentialism, Homophobia, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 22:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5760757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil are celebrating Chris’s 30th birthday when Phil remembers what his 30th was like just a few months earlier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Do You Mean This is Wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://writeworld.org/post/137584854405/what-do-you-mean-this-is-wrong/) prompt
> 
> Also for reference [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qmDz6Xzxf4/) is the song in the story. You’ll know what I mean when you get there.

PJ laughed loudly, throwing his head back. Phil wasn’t quite so sure what the joke was, but he found himself laughing along. Phil was that type of person. He was the type of person who tried to make others happy no matter what. And if that meant laughing at a joke he didn’t understand, he would do it.

“Okay, okay, but seriously,” Chris said, waving his hands around to get the attention of the group. “Where do we want to go next?”

The question hung in the air as Phil looked at Dan and Dan looked back at Phil. They were celebrating Chris’s thirtieth birthday, but Chris had decided he just wanted to have a fun night with everybody. He didn’t want to make plans or do anything specific because he claimed, that would make him too sentimental and upset about turning thirty. 

“Well we’ve already been to an amusement park, the movies, and this restaurant,” Dan offered, listing the places they had already visited that day.

“I guess that means there’s only one place for us left to go then!” Chris exclaimed.

Everybody turned to him in synchronized confusion. “Obviously we’ve gotta go party! Let’s go get drunk up in some club!”

Dan and Phil exchanged nervous glances as they both pretended to cheer and be excited. Going to clubs was never a super fun activity for either of them. They had both shared their club horror stories over the years, and each of them had plenty of reasons to never visit a club ever again. But Phil wasn’t the type of person to say no to someone on their birthday, and frankly, neither was Dan.

So each of them swallowed their words and went along with the others and soon they found themselves in a club.

The music was loud and blaring and the lights were bright and blinding - just as you’d expect. It was an atmosphere that could only be found enjoyable to those who were drunk. Without alcohol in your system, the club just seemed like a depressing, much-too-loud room that smelt of liquor. Chris immediately took to the dance floor and PJ followed him. Before they departed Phil whispered to PJ to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. Well it was more than a whisper as the atmosphere of the club was impossibly loud, so he more like shouted it to where only PJ could hear. Chris was pretending he was okay with this turning thirty thing, but he was already drunk and Phil knows it’s not something that comes lightly.

Phil had turned thirty about eight months earlier and he remembers he did not take it so well. He ended up ditching the party that Dan had thrown for him in their apartment and running off to sit on some random bench on the side of the road. Of course Dan had found him, sat down, and started to console him all under five minutes.

_“So is this what an existential crisis is like?” Phil asked the night of his thirtieth birthday._

_Dan nodded, “Unfortunately.” He took a seat next to Phil and put his arm around him. So many times, the roles had been reversed and it was Dan who was lying on the ground in need of a hug. Dan having experienced this same situation many times before knew exactly what Phil needed._

_Phil hugged Dan tightly and buried his face in Dan’s shoulder._

_They stayed like that for about thirty minutes. Neither of them moved except for Dan’s arm that rhythmically stroked Dan’s back. Neither of them spoke. Thirty minutes passed like that until Phil inhaled and sat up. He looked Dan in the eyes and smiled slightly, “I’m so glad I have you.”_

_“You know if this is hitting you this hard, I can’t wait until I turn thirty,” Dan replied with sarcasm lacing his words._

_“Well when you do, I’ll be prepared and I’ll be there for you,” Phil answered._

_“You’re the best,” Dan said, pulling Phil close and kissing his temple._

“PHIL?” Dan’s loud shout brought him out of his daydream and back into the present. “You alright?”

Phil nodded, but his eyes were still out of focus as if looking at something in the distance.

“Please don’t tell me you’re thinking of your last birthday?” Dan asked.

Phil looked over at Dan, and tried to come up with a lie, but he knew he had been caught. Dan simply knew him too well to be able tell when he was lying.

“How about we get a couple of drinks before you have another meltdown?” Dan asked. Phil simply nodded along. He knew Dan was right. Though Phil wasn’t a huge fan of alcohol and what it did to him, he was even less of a fan of having an existential meltdown. He was almost certain he was due to have one again as this is the same way it started last time.

It starts out okay. First you’re having fun and celebrating a momentous event and then you start thinking about what it means. You’re already thirty? How much longer will it be until you’re already forty? fifty? sixty? Logic says it will be ten full years between each of these milestones, but the years seem to be getting shorter. Besides, thirty years have already gone by and it definitely didn’t feel like that long. Next thing you know, the room is spinning and you don’t know what to think of reality anymore. You find yourself outside on a park bench with the cold January air biting your ears and nose. Your wishing you had a coat, but this is your life now.

Phil shook his head and focused his attention back on Dan. Dan was his rock, so he would hold on to him, especially for tonight. Dan passed Phil a shot and a glass of some brightly-coloured alcohol. Downing the shot, Phil wrinkled his face in disgust. He never liked strong alcohol as it always tasted so bitter. That’s what the bright blue drink was for of course. Phil chased the bitter taste down his throat with the nice, fruity flavor of the other drink Dan had gotten for him.

Phil was unsure about the science behind it but somewhere between his third and fourth drink or his second and third shots, the music somehow sounded much better and the atmosphere of the club suddenly seemed much more exciting.

“LE’S GO DAAANCE,” Phil slurred loudly to Dan. He then started laughing to himself. “GET IT? ‘CUZ YOU’RE DAN AN’ WE SHOULD DANCE?”

Dan nodded along. He wasn’t as drunk as Phil, but he did have a few drinks in his system. “Tha’s so funny, Phil, but stop shouting!”

Phil laughed loudly and got up. Grabbing Dan’s wrist, he dragged Dan over to the dancefloor with him. Phil danced around with his arms flailing along to a song they had never heard before but it had some dubstep in it. Dan bounced along with a weary smile on his face as he watched Phil.

The song suddenly changed to a new dubstep and this excited the crowd for some reason. Dan looked around and suddenly noticed there were quite a few people here. He wondered why so many people decided to come to this crappy club, but he figured many of them were here for the same reasons as he and his friends. Dan was just thinking the beat of the song sounded familiar about a minute into it when the lyrics started.

“I can’t win, I can’t reign. I will never win this game, without you.”

Dan’s eyes widened in realisation and Phil threw up his arms screaming, “THROWBACK!” The song was David Guetta’s Without You. This song had come out about five or six years ago in like 2011 or something.

Dan’s eyes narrowed at Phil and a strong desire to be closer to him suddenly overtook him. Dan did that super-lame thing where he pretended to lasso Phil, but the best part was that Phil did that even lamer thing where he pretended to be caught by a lasso and then pulled closer to Dan.

Somewhere in the drunk haze of lights and sounds, the lyrics of the song rang out loud and clear. And somehow, they brought emotions to Dan. It was just a stupid song from too many years ago, but for some reason they sounded different tonight. It was if they were relevant. After belting out the first verse with Phil, he wanted something more personal. After the first chorus, Dan turned Phil around and whispered in his ear, “Can’t erase, so I’ll take blame. But I can’t accept that we’re estranged, without you.”

Phil pulled away from Dan and walked a few steps away. Dan felt his face go red and he was worried he had overstepped a boundary. He was never quite so sure what he and Phil were to each other. They were constantly next to each other and they cuddled often. There would be an occasional hug that lingered just a bit long or a questionable kiss to the forehead or nose, but they were just friends. They had never really talked about it, but they were just friends. Best friends. It had always been like that. They were just extra affectionate to each other because they had been friends for so long. About eight years now. They acted no differently than two other people who had been friends for eight years would.

Except they had acted that way for a long time now. Phil suddenly turned around. Closing the distance between them in three even steps, Dan found it hard to believe how drunk Phil supposedly was when he took those steps. He seemed so confident and sure of himself.

Dan was only reminded of Phil’s drunkenness when he got close enough to smell the alcohol in his breath. Phil pressed his forehead against Dan’s and sang the next lines quietly, “I won’t soar, I won’t climb. If you’re not here I’m paralyzed, without you.”

Dan brought his hands up to hold Phil’s face and they sang the next part together, “I can’t look, I’m so blind. I lost my heart, I love my mind, without you.”

They moved apart slightly for the second chorus and jumped along with the crowd. Their bodies were pressed closely together as there were probably too many on the dance floor to be considered safe anymore. Dan found that for some reason he didn’t really care. He didn’t care that strangers were inside his personal bubble, he didn’t care that he rubbed against Phil with every bounce, and he definitely didn’t care that he was in public.

Dan moved closer to Phil towards the ending of the second chorus. He brought Phil closer than before by his waist and opened his mouth to sing the next part to Phil again.

However, he was interrupted by a large man in his late twenties. “NOW THA’ IS JUS’ WRONG!” he exclaimed, shouting in Dan’s ear. The man drew the attention of a few people nearby and made Phil take a step back from Dan.

“What do you mean this is wrong?” Phil asked simply, staring at the man. They weren’t doing anything wrong in his eyes. He was just having a fun time with Dan. It was harmless.

“I WILL NOT GIVE MONEY TO A PLACE THAT ALLOWS PEOPLE OF THE LIKES OF YOU TWO IN HERE! I’M GOIN’ TO SUE THE CLUB!” the man shouted.

“The likes of us?” Phil asked, innocently.

“GAYS! GAYS ARE DISGUSTING, AND I WILL NOT WATCH THIS CRIME HAPPEN BEFORE MY VERY EYES.”

Dan thought over the man’s words. He wasn’t gay, but this man was making him mad. If he thought that dancing closely with your best friend was gay, he was in for a treat. Dan made up his mind in that second.

He grabbed the back of Phil’s head and hastily pressed his lips against Phil’s. He tasted of alcohol and something vaguely fruity. It didn’t mean anything, but Dan’s heart sped up at the contact. Suddenly, Phil was kissing back, but with more force. He seemed to be kissing Dan with an unprecedented amount of enthusiasm and vigour. Dan buried his fingers in Phil’s soft hair and tried to bring Phil closer to him. They broke apart at the sound of a loud bellow.

“DISGUSTING!” the man from before shouted. Dan had almost forgot about his existence as he was so caught up in the kiss.

Suddenly, PJ and Chris appeared beside them. “Hey! Who are you calling disgusting!?” Chris shouted loudly at the man.

Dan flushed with embarrassment as he wondered how much PJ and Chris had seen.

“THOSE TWO FAGS! IT’S A CRIME FOR ONE MAN TO KISS ANOTHER AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE IT!” the man shouted, pointing at Dan and Phil.

Dan felt like his face was about to catch fire. Even if they hadn’t seen the kiss from before, they definitely knew about it now.

“Oh is it?” Chris asked smugly. He reached for the front of PJ’s shirt and dragged him by the collar to smash his lips with PJ’s. He simultaneously kissed PJ full on the mouth while he gave the middle finger to the homophobic man.

The man yelled some unintelligible words. At the same time, a couple of bouncers showed up.

“Excuse me, sir? We’re going to have to ask you to leave this area,” the one on the left said.

“ME!? THEY’RE THE ONES WHO SHOULD HAVE TO LEAVE!”

“Sir, if you don’t quiet down, you’ll have to leave the club and you won’t ever be welcome back again,” the other bouncer spoke.

“FINE! I DON’T WANT TO COME BACK ANYWAYS. THIS IS ALL A PART OF THE GAY AGENDA!” the man yelled as the bouncers started forcibly removing him from the area. He was almost out of sight when they heard one last comment, “HAVE FUN BURNING IN HELL!”

The was a pause as they all looked around at each other. The music was still just as loud, but the room felt quieter now. The people around them had gone back to ignoring them, too drunk to care about others.

PJ turned to Chris, “That was so awesome! Kiss me again!” Dan turned away as he saw the two of the kiss again. Dan looked at Phil, unsure of what to do now. It was too loud for him to think, he wanted to get out of there.

He reached over and tapped Chris on the shoulder. Chris broke away from PJ and looked expectantly at Dan. “Can we leave now?” Dan asked.

“Dan? What are you doing here?” Chris asked.

“You invited me? Remember?” Dan asked.

“Oh yeah!”

“He’s too drunk to know what’s going on, I doubt he even remembers it’s his birthday,” PJ said.

“It’s my birthday!? Cool!” Chris shouted.

“It’s actually probably best we leave before Chris can find anymore alcohol,” PJ replied.

Phil had wandered away in the masses of people, so PJ went to find him. He left Chris with Dan and told him to keep him in his sights at all times. He waited by the door and a few minutes later, PJ emerged from the crowd with a drunk Phil in tow.

They walked out of the club together and waited outside for their rides. They each called a separate uber as they lived in different directions. Dan and Phil’s ride showed up first, so they said goodbye to Chris and PJ and got into the car.

The ride was mostly silent as Phil fell asleep on Dan’s shoulder within about two minutes. When they arrived at their flat, Dan woke up Phil.

“Wha’s going on?” Phil asked, groggily.

“We’re home, come on,” Dan spoke.

“Oh, okay,” Phil said, but didn’t move. Dan resolved to grab Phil’s wrist and lead him out of the vehicle. He got to the front door and tried to use his key to open the door. He was struggling with getting the key into the lock when he heard a loud car horn whiz past. He turned around to see Phil stepping out into traffic. Dan ran and grabbed Phil. Pulling him out of the road, he returned to the door. He took Phil’s hand and shaped it into a hook. He hooked Phil’s finger around his belt loop and told him, “Don’t let go.”

“I’ll never let go, Jack,” Phil slurred. Dan grinned and shook his head at Phil’s obvious drunkenness.

Dan got the door open finally and he took Phil’s hand from his belt loop into his own. He lead Phil inside and closed the door behind him. He only let go when they reached the lounge. Dan sat on the couch and Phil said next to him, leaning his head on Dan’s shoulder. He took ahold of Dan’s belt loop again.

Dan smiled, but it was short-lived as Phil broke the silence. “Are we going to talk about this?” he asked, sounding a lot less drunk now.

“A-about what?” Dan stammered, caught off guard. He was hoping Phil was too drunk to understand what had happened. He hadn’t meant to kiss him, but he did and he didn’t want Phil to remember that.

“You know what. What we do. How we act. I shouldn’t have to explain it to you, Dan. It’s been eight years,” Phil spoke.

“No… I don’t want to talk about it because it’s wrong?” Dan said, but it was poised more as a question.

“What do you mean it’s wrong?” Phil asked for the second time that night.

“This! This is not how best friends act, Phil! This is-”

“Who ever said we were just best friends?” Phil asked, interrupting Dan.

Dan paused, at a loss for words. Phil had picked his head off Dan’s shoulder and Dan turned to face Phil. His finger was still around Dan’s belt loop.

After a moment of hesitation, Dan surged forward and met his lips with Phil’s for the second time that night. This kiss was much nicer than the first. It was much softer and less hasty as the kiss in the club. After a couple of seconds, Dan pulled away with a sudden realisation. “I’m in love with you, Phil,” Dan spoke with their foreheads pressed together and lips only centimeters apart.

“It only took you eight years to say it,” Phil said with a grin. “I love you too, Dan,” he added before bringing their lips together again.

**Author's Note:**

> It also kind ended up using [this prompt](http://toukaa-kirishimaa.tumblr.com/post/115701557648/i-wasnt-gay-but-then-i-kissed-you-in-front-of/) as well
> 
> I didn't want to put this at the beginning bc spoilers
> 
> Anyways... Thanks for reading!!!


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